People Change People

The first time I heard this phrase I was watching “Girl Meets World”

the cancelled Disney show, spin-off of “Boy Meets World.” I’m not

going to go into details about the show, but I am one episode.

Cory Matthews is now a teacher at his daughters, Riley, middle school.

In the episode a student asks him what the secret of life is, in which

he gave an unusual assignment, but at the end of the episode he says

that “there are many of them,” but the one he taught the students

is that people change people. That’s the one I want to focus on right now.

In order to do that, I have to tell a story.

I am what many call a “cutter” which means I harm myself by cutting into

my arms and legs (some people do it other places). I stopped for about

a year two years ago, but last year I started cutting again.

Then, I moved into a nicer apartment and start an antidepressant

(I’m not ashamed). The cutting stopped...until about two weeks ago.

I started cutting again. I hid it for a few days. Prior to me cutting again,

I had made a promise to three of my friends, two of which I still talk to.

I broke that promise. I didn’t want them to know. I told one, I’ve known

them since high school and she’s like my sister. I hid it from the other.  

I hid it from my parents.

A couple weeks ago my high school friend and one I met that day,

stayed over. I’ll be even more honest and say that I was drunk.

I ended up having an emotional breakdown. Everything about how

I was feeling came up. She ended up messaging the friend I was

hiding my cutting from (he wasn’t able to make it). He told her to tell

me to quit drinking and you know what? I did. I also ended up

pouring the alcohol that was left in my fridge down the drain the

next morning. Because if that’s what makes me like that,

I don’t need it nor do I want it.

Sadly the cutting continues. The next day, Sunday, my car broke down.

I was helping my daddy try to get out a part, I had to pull up my long

sleeve to keep from tearing my shirt, that’s how my parents found out. Today, I took a step forward, and I told the other friend.

The one who stopped my drinking that night. I was terrified and

to be honest, I still am. Their friendship means the world to me.

Theirs and my high school friends, but what they, the one who

stopped my drinking, said to me encouraged and is helping

me start my “recovery.” I don’t want to lose them from my life.

So, yeah, they’ve changed me. I know it’s not going to be an

easy road or a short one, but it’s road I'm going down.

I decided to go down this road because they told that they want to try

to stay away from stuff like I did. I am one of these people that if you

really care about someone and you really want them in your life,

you will do anything to keep them there, especially quit a bad habit.

Like my cutting. I will say this again, I don’t want to lose them or

my high school friend, not because of that. They mean something

to me and because of that I’m willing to stop my “bad habits.”

So, when it comes to the secret of life, people change people. I can

say that it’s true. I’m not sure if it’s really a secret, but for those of

you who don’t know, it’s possible.

Just take that step and start walking.

Oh, and I want to say thanks to the people who have stuck around.

I know you care, you’ve always cared. I was too blind to see it.

Promises

Even as an adult have had people ask me to promise I’ll do something

or to promise I won’t. I even ask people to make promises.

Usually it’s just keeping themselves safe, but that’s a different story.

The more I think about asking people to make promises, the more

I thought to myself, “why do I ask them to keep the promise?”

Promises are like a sacred thing. As a matter of fact,

you promise to love a person until death do you part when you

marry someone. You make that promise in front of the “eyes of God,”

but yet so many marriages end in divorce. Two best friends make

a promise to be “friends forever,” but yet the friendship does end in

many situations.

Maybe we ask each other to promise something because

we’re scared and we need that reassurance. Maybe we

do it to make ourselves feel better or maybe the other person. I stopped making

promises. I can’t let anyone down if I don’t promise them. Just like

nobody can let me down if they don’t promise me. If you feel like

you can’t keep a promise, don’t make one. That goes for any situation.

If you want to marry someone, then take them for better or worse,

until death do you part. Don’t make a promise of marriage because

you like the idea of getting married. If you have a best friend,

don’t promise to be friends forever, just be there. Prove that you’re

there for the long run.

Blessings

Recently, I’ve had many worries. I’ve had to go awhile without

my paycheck. I have been worried with bills, food for not

only myself but also my dog. I have worried if people care

about me. I have worried if I had true friends or not. Honestly,

my mind has just been everywhere and to be more honest it still is.

I have too many worries to list.

These worries Have made me forget about the many blessings I have

in my life. Even the things I don’t really think about are blessings.

From a roof being over my head to clothes on back even to a

phone I can use to connect with the people who care about me.

It’s not just the worries that distract me from my blessings. It is also

going out with friends or family. When I’ve went out with my friends

I didn’t realize how lucky I was to have someone there.

Some people have absolutely no one.

My worries and my distractions have out a filter over my blessings.

I have been wrapped in my worries that I forget I have people

there I can talk to, my distractions. The distractions make me forget

I have other blessings. However, some of those distractions

are blessings as well. I made a list of my blessings. Remember,

not all distractions are healthy ones. Some of them make you

forget who you truly are and your own beliefs. Look for the ones

that are right for you.

• Family
• My dog
• Food
• A home
• Friends? (Personal thing)
• Running Water
• Shoes
• Winter Clothes