This is touchy subject to many people and everyone has their own stand point. However, I have two stand points. I understand why people often say how it’s a choice, but some of those people also won’t take the time to maybe see how it’s not. I’m not going to try to change your mind on your decision, but I do want to make you aware of mine and maybe give a different point of view. Now, I’m not going to use fancy quotes or doctorly words, but hear me out.
When someone first does something to either numb the pain or cause pain, that’s when it’s decision, that’s when it’s a choice, but after awhile of making that “choice” it becomes habit. It becomes a way of life so to speak. So here’s my opinion on all of them.
I’m going to start with cutting. I know many people say how it’s different from other “addictions” but why doesn’t it fall under the same category? When someone first cuts, they make that decision. I made that decision to feel something. Anything. However, after making the “choice” the first few times, I started to black out whenever I’m under stress and I come to with fresh cuts on my body that I have no idea how they got there, so with that said, how did I make the CHOICE, to do that if I didn’t even remember doing it in the first place and all I saw was literally blackness?
That leads me to alcohol. I also have personal experience with this. The first few times, yes, I made that choice to drink to numb my pain. And you can say what you want about how I’ve cut to feel pain, but unless you’re in my mind you will NEVER understand it. Anyways, but again, after awhile, when I became down or upset, I fuzzed out and bought alcohol, drove home, and woke up with a killer hangover. Did I want to? No, I didn’t, it just happened, so again how did I make that a choice?
I can’t say much on drugs because I don’t have that personal experience, but I’ve had a very close friend and I saw him and heard him talk about his fears and struggles with drugs. He’s since moved away because of the pressure and crap to keep doing them. I can’t say whether or not it’s a choice or disease on his part or anyone’s, but if I’ve had that kind of struggle with cutting and alcohol, I can only imagine with drugs.
So, is addiction a choice or a disease? I don’t actually know. I know what happens when life, pain, emotions become too much to bear. I know how I struggle and before you come at me with “you need God” and all of this other BS, you cannot begin to imagine where I’ve tried to find my healing from this. You cannot imagine how draining it is to be in battle with your own mind day after day, night after night, but that’s a different post.
Overall, just respect my choice to say how I feel about it and let me learn to heal the way I need to heal. And also, I’m not saying everyone is like my situation because everyone is different, all I want is for some of you to get off your high horses and look at things a different way instead of judging someone for what they’ve done or are doing. You don’t know their inner struggles so you have no right to even question them about it unless you’re trying to show you generally care by trying to understand where their mind is. Thanks for your time.
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