6 of my Favorite Authors

 I have always loved to read. I would read every book I had and eventually read the newspaper when I ran out of books to read. Of course I prefer some authors over others. I decided to make a list of my top 6 authors. Maybe you've heard of them and read some of their work or maybe you will find your next read.

Jack London

• Call of the Wild
• The Sea Wolf
• White Fang
• To Build a Fire

Edgar Allan Poe

• The Raven
• The Fall of the House of Usher
• The Murders in the Rue Morgue 
• The Tell-Tale Heart

Thomas Harris

• Silence of the Lambs
• Cari Mora
• Black Sunday
• Red Dragon

Rupi Kaur

• Home Body
• The Sun and Her Flowers
• Milk & Honey

William Shakespeare

• The Tempest
• Hamlet
• Mac Beth
• Romeo and Juliet

Danielle Rollins (Vega)

• The Merciless
• The Haunted
• Survive the Night
• Stolen Time

After a Long Day...

 With everything going on in the world it's important to take time out and focus on yourself. Your mind, body, and soul depend on it. 

Things to do after a long-hard day:

• Go for a walk
• Cuddle a pet
• Listen to Disney music (or your favorite artist)
• Watch your favorite movie or tv show 
• Paint something 
• Write 10 things your grateful for
• Do some yoga 
• Meditate
• Eat your favorite food 
• Wash your hair/shower/take a bath
• Put on some comfy PJ's
• Do a face mask
• Read a book 
• Dance 
• Drink some hot/warm tea
• Drink hot chocolate 
• Go to bed early 
• Play a video game 

REMEMBER YOU ARE SO IMPORTANT.

Staying Alive

 He was the one I had when others had passed away, but he was the gone. He died. He was the one I wanted when my maternal great-grandmother, fraternal grandmother, and fraternal grandfather passed away; I had him to hug and make me laugh. But Pawpaw was the one being put in the ground. He was the one I went to when I needed encouragement, a laugh, or a shoulder to cry on and when he I heard he died, I literally felt my heartbreak. That was my first though my of suicide. 

On October 31st my family and I laid to Pawpaw to rest. I stopped my mind, body, and soul from grieving. I wanted to be the one who was there for my mother, who had last her father. I wanted to be there for my brother, two cousins, who had lost their grandfather. Even though I had also lost someone special to them, I never actually let it show. I fell deeper and deeper into the darkness of my mind. I started self-harming to feel pain and to show myself that I am, at the time, sadly, still alive. That was my second thought of suicide. 

Graduating high school was fun, then came a community college in Alabama. I made some friends and gave my virginity to someone I had no feelings for. I also had my first boyfriend...I think. When we broke up, he had a girlfriend the next day. That was my third thought of suicide:

I was sexually assaulted, in my grandmothers old apartment, the one Pawpaw died in. I knew I shouldn't have answered the door, I knew I shouldn't have let him in. That monster was way taller, but younger, I should have stopped it. But at least it didn't go any further than touching. That was my fourth thought of suicide. 

I confided into my two friends, my only friends. Not much was said. Them and I stopped being friends when I kept canceling plans because the darkness of my mind made me think they actually hate me and those plans seemed so overwhelming. They were the only friends I had, that was my fifth thought of suicide. 

I soon made contact with an old friend, they seemed to try to force me to stop hurting myself. It made me do it more. I turned 21 with that friendship and we soon started drinking. The drinking made me forget pain, so I wanted to do it again and again. And again.... drinking made me think of suicide again. 

With drinking comes feeling bloated and tummy aches. I started making myself throw up. I wished to make myself look like the pretty women with real boobs instead of the pancakes I have. But I still drank, until darkness came over and I fell asleep on the bathroom floor. My friends boyfriend, or whatever, talked me into buying weed. At the time it was illegal in my state, but I obliged because I felt I needed to fit in with them, and I wanted to spend time with a cute guy. We got pulled over. Thankfully we only got a warning. That was the seventh time. 

The eighth time, I felt like shit when my grandmother and I had an argument. It felt as if nothing I do is worth while. And nothing was done correctly. I had the knife to my wrist. When my mother messaged me and at the time my dog walked into the kitchen as I sat in the floor. Her eyes begged me not too, and put up the knife and held her on my lap. 

February 12th, 2021. I became one year clean of self harm and sober. Today (September 07, 2021) when I am writing this, I am going back home from being at the beach. I have made a small support system. Some of them didn't even know all of this I am sharing now. A lot of people didn't know anything I am sharing now. 

You're probably asking "what's your point in this?" My point? It's simple. STAY ALIVE! You have no idea what you mean to people. You make someone's life better in some way, small or big. You matter. Your life matters. Share your story of surviving your worst moments. You are loved. And when you feel like no one cares about you, remember the person who wrote this cares about you. I don't know your name, but if you've read this, I love you, and you matter to me.

6 Urban Legends and One Of Them Might Be True

 Urban legends are always fun to tell in a darkened room with a flashlight or sitting by a campfire. I remember my brother, two cousins, and I doing just that. We would usually end up scaring ourselves. I decided to pick five of my favorite urban legends and research them and I found out that a small town near where I live actually has a combination of two of these urban legends. I'll tell that one as well.

Bloody Mary

Bloody Mary different origins; the first it is said that Mary is Queen Mary I. The second, a witch named Mary Worth. However, no matter how it started it is a well known urban legend. The original ritual was for a young woman to walk up a flight of stairs backwards holding a candle and a hand mirror. She was then supposed to be able to see the face of her future husband. If she were to see a skull or the face of the grim reaper, it was said she was to die before she could marry. 

The ritual I and many others know however, deprives from the Japanese legend of Hanako-san where a student is to go into the girls bathroom, usually the third floors, go into a stall, knock three times, and ask if the spirit was there. What we know is that you stand in front of the bathroom mirror with only candles lighting the room, spin around three times saying "Bloody Mary." No matter which version you try, it still gives chills.

Lady in White

No matter what version of this urban legend you hear, it is basically all the same. The Lady in White is a legend dating back to medieval times, if not earlier. The woman is said to be wearing a white dress and just roaming around where she has supposedly died. Each culture and place has it's own variation of this legend. 

Slender Man

For some reason Slender Man is my favorite urban legend, even if he did begin as a Creepypasta fictional character. He is said to stalk, kidnap, and kill children. As a matter of fact, this fictional character turned urban legend is the reason behind the Waukesha, Wisconsin stabbings. Two 12 year old girls tracked down a classmate and stabbed her multiple times, killing her. They said Slender Man had told them to or he would kill them and their families. 

Body Under the Bed (True)

What would you do if you were staying in a hotel and a body is under the bed? That has actually happened and is what began this urban legend. The urban legend began in 1991 when a couple started to smell something foul when staying in a hotel. The hotel room was searched thoroughly and wouldn't you know it, there was a body underneath the bed. A person was murdered and hidden underneath a hotel room bed! 1991 was not the only year this happened. The newest case was in 2010. The next time you stay at a hotel, make sure you check under the bed.

Disappearing Hitchhiker 

This urban legend has variations, but they're all the same premise. A hitchhiker flags down a vehicle and gets into the empty seat. But before they reach a certain point in the journey the hitchhiker disappears. Some accounts say they have actually dropped the person off at a destination only to look and the passenger has disappeared as soon as they get out of the car.

Quarter Mile Bridge

Sugar Grove, VA

This urban legend may not be known to many around, however, it is one that's close to home...literally. It combines the legends of Lady in White and the Disappearing Hitchhiker. It is said that when you are going from Sugar Grove towards Troutdale there is a woman wearing a wedding dress. She died on her wedding day in a car crash in the middle of winter and the roads were iced. The woman will get into your car whether you pull over to pick her up or not; as long as you have an empty spot for her. 

The quarter mile bridge is actually two bridges. The first one is where the woman will be and before you're able to make it to the second bridge, the woman will disappear. She supposedly died in between the two bridges and that's where her spirit remains.

10 Mythological Creatures

 A mythological creature is a supernatural animal, generally a hybrid, sometimes part human, whose existence has not or cannot be proved and that is described in folklore. Here is a list of some of my favorite creatures. What's yours?

Unicorn

Dragon

Fairy

Kraken

Griffin

Mermaid

Manticore

Roc

Phoenix

Centaur

My 10 Favorite Crystals

 A lot of people find that holding a crystal or placing it on your body promotes physical, emotional and spiritual healing. Crystals do this by positively interacting with your body's energy field, or Chakra. They also say that it can help alleviate stress, anxiety, and many other things.

This list is my top 10 (in no specific order) favorite crystals and their healing properties*.

Amethyst

• enhances intuition and creativity 
• encourages peace and stability
• aids meditation to find inner peace
• aids sleep and dreaming

Bloodstone

• removes energy blockages and negative energy
• assists in grounding 
• calms the emotional body
• increases determination and courage

Aquamarine

• Helps release anger
• clears and activates the Throat Chakra
• brings courage and inner strength
• helps balance your emotions

Clear Quartz

• helps you see things more clearly
• cleanses the soul
• helps improve focus
• use during meditation when searching for clarity

Rose Quartz

• expands heart energy
• helps with grief
• help with forgiveness
• increases self esteem

Garnate

• Creativity 
• brings light and hope
• inspires love and devotion
• balances the Root Chakra

Moonstone

• fertility 
• open the heart to love
• "travelers stone"
• enhances intuition 

Selenite

• protection 
• energy cleansing
• calms
• grounds and aligns the chakras

Emerald

• love and romance
• inspiration and infinite patience 
• promotes friendship
• heals heart break

Blue Lace Agate

• calming
• inspires loyalty
• supports communication
• helps an overactive mind

*The properties I listed are not the only ones they have. I have a thing for even numbers and 4 is my favorite. If you are interested in any crystals on this list, feel free to research. If you're looking to buy crystals I recommend: New Moon Beginnings

Healthy Has Flaws

I look at these pictures and all I see is how big I am. My big arms, double chin, round belly stare back at me like a carnival mirror. But that's all it is. These pictures to me are a carnival mirror. Yes, I could lose weight, and yes, it is difficult but it wouldn't be as bad if I would get up and actually do something. I know this. I know that putting effort into something is the key to succeeding but I also know I was diagnosed with PCOS. Just like my cousin, just like a lot of women in the world. That being said, I know that if I try to lose weight I could end up gaining more or it wouldn't be as effective as I'd like. 

Putting that diagnoses and losing weight  aside, let's talk about this specific trip. On the way down, I wasn't  thinking about how I looked in that dress nor was I thinking about how I'd look in the bathing suit. All I could think about was that I was going to the beach with my parents, brother, and sister in law. A trip I had wanted to take for a long time. Yes, I had went to the beach when I was little, but this time I was going to be able to remember it. 

When I look back at the pictures I am disgusted, but why? Look at my smile. Look at their smiles. Why am I now so consumed with how I looked then? I was 7 months clean of self harm when those pictures were taken. I was with my family at a place I've always wanted to go. My image of myself is lying to me. Just like it is you.

So, I am now, going to look at these pictures in another way. There I stand at the edge of the ocean with my sister in law and my mother. My back towards the ocean and where the sky meets it. Smiling at the camera. That smile can tell you so many random facts and those hands can write you many poems. My body? It has taken me down to the ocean. It has picked up seashells and built sandcastles. It let me eat delicious seafood and make memories. 

Our bodies are so much more than what we see in the mirror or in pictures. Our bodies are our sanctuaries and are our way of creating and doing things and seeing and feeling the world. Even "healthy looking" bodies have beautiful, perfect flaws. 

2011 Me: A Letter

 Dear me,

    Today you starting your first year of high school. It's not going to be bad today, but I'd like to give you advice that I wish I had known or events I wish I had known about when I was you. These four things will not only help you in school, but life itself.

    One: If you don't understand something, ASK. You're probably not the only one who is confused. There are literally no stupid questions. Even if you ask the question and someone does call you dumb for it, you're not. You just don't grasp things as easily as the person who said something. However, you will be the braver one. Because instead of putting someone down for not understanding something (which I'm sure they've not understood something either), you spoke up and not only helped yourself, but maybe to more shy classmate in the back of the class.    

    Two: On October 29th, your world will change. You know it was already changing, but this day things change as if it were a TV show. On October 31st, yes, Halloween, Pawpaw will be buried. Your hero. My hero. Our hero. He has cancer and has been hiding it. You will be crushed. You feel as if the life has been taken out of you and you MUST let that show. You must show your emotions. Feel them. It's okay. You do not have to be the strong one. You are the youngest, but you are not the strongest one. None of you, us, are the "strongest" one. 

    Three: Join clubs, speak to people, even the so-called popular crowd. I promise you, even though we didn't listen to Mommy about this, it's true that the "popular crowd" are just like you. They have insecurities, they have battles within themselves that they tell no one about. They're just trying to make it through high school, through life, just as you are. Being popular means nothing, but being yourself and showing who you are is everything.

    Four: It's not high school you miss, it's the memories you made and could have made that you miss. What would have happened if you did join a club or spoke to more people? It's seeing your classmates laughing in the halls with their friends to their inside jokes. It's the pep rallies where all grades are gathered and you get to see generations coming together. It's the dance you don't go to or the one you do. It's the smile of your favorite teacher. 

    You'll still learn a lot after graduating. You'll laugh and cry, even laugh until you cry. Just make a promise to remember the people who grew up with you. 

Sincerely,

You (MSHS 2015 graduate)

Covid: Why I decided to receive the vaccine

(That fact I feel I have to explain my reasoning really says a lot in itself.)

My views are never political. I hate politics to the point I don't keep up with which side stands for what. All I know is that the LGBTQ+ community is being hated by one side or the other and same for Black Lives Matter. 

Politically speaking, the arguments that are used against getting the vaccine: "the government can't control me", "I've lived this long," "We've had a 'killer' virus every election"....so on and so forth. But yet some of the people saying that are also some of the ones that get flu shots every year. 

Religiously speaking, "My full faith is in God he can protect me." Is the reasoning I hear all over Facebook, Instagram, face to face, etc. But yet, you say that God himself put doctors on earth to create medicines and cures. I do have faith in God but I also want him to know that I do fear taking the virus to someone else. I do fear that. And he does know and he does know that taking that vaccine will ensure that guilt will not be there if someone around may get it.

Covid-19, Covid, Corona Virus, Covis (what my dear grandmother says), or whatever you call it (and by the way it isn't "the Chinese virus" that racists are calling it as a way to spread racism) isn't a different story. There's still one side versus another.

However, this isn't a me versus you. Or at least it shouldn't be. As a human being I want to try to keep others safe and although there's been a virus/disease scare almost every year, why would I allow that to make me not take precautions in protecting my family and friends? 

My daddy's a truck driver who hails Campbell's soup, meaning he was an essential worker in the middle of a pandemic. He was touching diesel pumps, going from one truck yard to another and back. He isn't even long-haul, but yet he put his health at risk to not only take care of his family, but also helped yours. Why did I not want the shot sooner to help lower his risk? 

My mama is Type 1 diabetic and has been through hell and back again. And yeah, she may have been extremely blessed to have been so healthy for so long without (knock on wood) any severe illness, why would I risk me bringing it to her? All it takes is one time. 

"Well covid is over now." Is it? Is it actually over or have so many people taken the vaccine and that's what's caused numbers to drop? Because people are still developing the virus. It's still airborne. It still exists. 

"Better late than never" is a phrase that's been used a lot by me as an excuse for me to not have to choose side. I never want to let anyone down or have them disappointed. Although now I wish I didn't wait so long to decide. Because after all, it's my decision, my life, and if I walk alone, than so be it.

Fun Questions From A Random Generator

I decided to try a random question generator and answer the questions. It will tell a little bit about me and I'll get to answer some fun questions. 

What's something you used to like but don't anymore?

Food wise- oatmeal pies and grits other than food, I'm sure there's movies and stuff that I don't really enjoy anymore, but I can't think of them.

What's something that you seem to never get tired of doing?

Watching YouTube videos of paranormal things and watching SVU, Madea movies, and NCIS. And of course I never get tired of watching The Lion King.

Do you have a dream job in mind? 

Counselor, therapist, something around those lines.

What single word would you use to describe this year?

Confusing

What's one thing you think you should be doing more often?

Yoga or meditation

What's your favorite room in your house?

My bedroom. It's just my safe zone. When I do meditate I do in there and I have a fan for when it gets too hot. Several blankets. I keep water near my bed and that's also where I read my books.

What memory have you been thinking about a lot lately?

Almost every memory I have with Pawpaw. Mostly when we went to Dixie Stampede, now Stampede, in Pigeon Forge, TN

Favorite flavor of ice cream and what toppings?

Superman ice cream flavor. However, if I can't have that I like plain vanilla with caramel or hot fudge.

What's the best part of rain?

When it's been hot and the rain cools it off. Or when the rain is just beginning or it's just stopped and you can watch the steam rise off the hot pavement in the summer.

What types of things do you doodle?

Hearts, butterflies, pentagrams (not inverted ones), learn the difference