Blood and Bottles

There is no denying that pain can make us do some things.

Whether it be to having breakdowns to drugs. I chose self-harming.

To be more specific, cutting. I have been open about it in the past,

but there is one thing I have not been open about.

Something more recent than cuts. Alcohol.

I’ve said in another post that I have stopped cutting. It has been

three weeks since the last time I cut, possibly a little longer.

However, my story doesn’t stop there. Like I said above,

I still run to the distraction of alcohol. Yes, when I sober up the

pain is still there, but this story still has a twist.

When I’m drunk, I get depressed and have emotional breakdowns.

I’ve even been known to self-harm during the breakdowns as well.

Thankfully, that hasn’t happened in a while.

I talk about all my problems and how I truly feel about them.

I open up about things I would never do while I’m sober.

The next day, I don’t really remember everything I have said.

I have become so reliant on all the things that just distract me

from everything. In reality, those problems are still there.

I am learning to trust my heart when it says I shouldn't do something.

I am also learning to trust my family and friends when they

say they care. I know it’s not going to be an easy path, but it’s a

path I am going to walk up. It’s a path I’m willing to, because

I know if I don’t I could lose everything that matters

the most to me.